Friday, February 18, 2011

Chapter I: In Which The Premise is Described

The Introduction
Do not be alarmed fair denizens of the internet, you have not travelled back in time to 2003.  No, someone has instead decided to start a blog long, long after they ceased to be relevant.  Why?  Well, partially because I love movies and tv so much that I can't help myself, I need to talk about them with someone, even if it is the vast, uncaring ocean that is the internet.  Partially because I over think most things, and media more than anything else, so it might be helpful to know what parts are my brain doing laps and which ones actually make sense.  Mostly, however, I have created this blog for your convenience.   Now ignoring my long rants about film production, hollywood politics, whatever movie we just walked out of, what was on tv last night, or the 9327th reason Joss Whedon is awesome will be as convenient as politely following this blog then casually ignoring it in your RSS feed.  You're welcome.

The Rules
Under ideal circumstances, this blog will update twice weekly.  Once a week, usually on Monday, I will write a full review of a movie currently in theaters after my first time seeing it, which makes a nice excuse for me to go to the movies at least once a week.  Now, there are many slow weeks in the hollywood release schedule, and other sources of new cinema are limited to me, so this means that there will be weeks when I am paying to see and then spending my time to review a movie that I fully expect to be horrible.  Though it will be difficult, I will take comfort knowing that I am the first person in the history of the internet to write humorous reviews of bad movies.  The second weekly post, occurring whenever the hell I get around to it, will be a miscellaneous pop culture review, changing subject from week to week, but most commonly an episode of a currently running show that aired that week.  However, other than that, anything is fair game.  A review of an older movie that I particularly love or hate?  Of course.  A season vs. season or episode vs. episode battle between classic tv?  All the time.  A bitter, spiteful, overly personal attack on whoever or whatever is angering me in media at the moment?  Almost certainly.  Previously unpublished naked pictures of a famous celebrity?  Probably not, but you should probably subscribe and check every post thoroughly just to be sure.

Finally, I am not a professional.  I am a student writing about what I love more than almost anything for no other reason than that I love doing it.  That officially makes your opinion just as (or, in some cases, much more) legitimate than mine.  However, that will in no way stop me from portraying my opinion as absolute, incontrovertible fact until presented with either an eloquent, well reasoned argument to the contrary or a bribe (paypal accepted).  If you have feedback, disagreement, argument, poorly spelled obscenity, or offers for cheap v1@g_Ra to share, please do so in the comments, I look forward to the rational discourse.

For everyone reading so you can politely claim to have seen this when I inevitably steer conversations toward the awesomeness of my blog, this is your stop.  I hereby release you from any familial, colegial, or social bounds that would force the yoke of my ramblings upon you.  For everyone reading because they're anonymously stalking me, keep it up, I secretly know you exist and find all your actions either sweet or terrifying, depending on which you intended me to feel.  But for all of you reading because you love movies as much as I do, I sincerely hope you enjoy what's coming.  Thanks

- Chris